We laugh at different times and for different reasons. Why do you laugh? Consider that laughter is a release. When we laugh, it’s often an involuntary response to a paradigm shift.

Suppose you live a life of frustration, anger and despair because “the man” has got you down. In your world, life is hard and it’s all the fault of “the man.” So, someone tells a story about “the man,” and it engages your paradigm and all the weight you place on your paradigm. Suddenly, there is a paradigm shift, as the story teller makes a turn in his story that has you see things from a whole new perspective–with “the man” as the butt of the joke. And you laugh. Of course there’s an art to this, and if you’re really good at shifting paradigms in a way that elicits laughter, you can hit the road and make a lot of money from the stage.

This begs the question, what do you laugh at? What you laugh at and why you laugh says a lot about the paradigm you operate from.

Since I was a kid I laughed when I could elicit a dramatic emotional reaction from someone. Looking back, I can see a number of dynamics in play. For one, it allowed me to see myself as “superior,” because they were reacting emotionally for no sound reason. They were in my eyes less mature. (how arrogant!) Indeed, it was an easy shortcut to feel good about myself as an adolescent. In time, it evolved me such that I was freer from the shame and guilt pressures of authority and the majority than the average bear. I did come to pride myself in being “wise” and mature, and in many ways this led me down the path of learning more and more about psychology, philosophy, the mind, etc.

Generally, anyone who placed what I deemed to be unnecessary weight on a certain issue (especially the issue of their image in others’ eyes) was fair game for teasing.

There were (and are) not many limits to this. I would quite often (and still do) make a fool of myself to have someone look at me weird or have them think I’m someone I’m not. For example, I may intentionally respond in an exaggerated childish way around a friend who places a lot of weight in appearing mature. I elicit a certain look from them and then I laugh and we laugh (if they can laugh about it). Or, I’ll pretend to morally judge someone for an action they are trying not to be judged for. I elicit a defensive response, and I laugh and we laugh (if they can laugh about it). There is no seeming end to this. If someone is very uptight about any aspect of life or themselves, I’ll play the role that has us both be able to laugh about the extra weight they’re giving it. If someone is extra concerned about ego and people who have an extra large one, I’ll make comments that have them seeing me this way. And often, people don’t find such things funny. And it irks them that I laugh it off.

There are many things I do not find funny, however. When someone laughs at or judges the awkward person who is risking the esteem of others to follow her own mind and heart, I don’t. Not only do I not find it funny, it bothers me. A lot of people also laugh at the heroes, the successful people, because it makes them uncomfortable to either be seen as less than or to be reminded how they themselves are not making the effort required to be as successful. There was a video on the internet I saw of a many spitting in Bill Gates face. A lot of people found this funny. To me, nothing could be less funny.

Both of these things make people uncomfortable. Both of these things remind a person how they could also be risking the esteem of others to follow their mind and heart. We want to look good all the way to the top, but we fear stepping out and looking foolish. So we’re uncomfortable around the awkward person who is stretching themselves beyond their given social position/identity. We’re uncomfortable around the people who have risked what we don’t dare to risk. It’s easy to laugh at them.  (And it’s interesting how Hollywood generally only dares to inspire us to a certain extent before poking fun at the hero… thereby diminishing the power of a movie that could have been incredibly powerful.  Armageddon is a great example.)
Of course those who stay “inside the box” laugh at those who flounder outside of the box–the rebels, the radicals, the visionaries. Those who can’t take this social pressure jump back inside the box sooner or later, or live some kind of compromised existence on the edge of the box or close to the box (and they suffer on the edge of true freedom).
And, it’s important for these who stray from the box of the majority’s and authority’s norms to have the freedom to laugh at the pressure exerted by the masses to return to the box. You, the visionary, make them very uncomfortable. They seek a reason to laugh at you. Yet you are the one who is risking your social position and your very psychological identity to “be the change,” and come hell or high water, you WILL make this world a better place for all of us–them included. So, your freedom to laugh at the pressure they place upon you to fit in or be normal is invaluable to you–and thus to them.

Now, what’s interesting is that your laughter can help them shift their own paradigm and free themselves from their box. Your laughter can help free them to stand for their own values and vision, in the face of the world’s judgments and criticism.

Just think about why you laugh and when you laugh. Are you liberating yourself and others?

Laughter can free you from the external pressure to conform, or it can free you from the internal pressure to follow your values and dreams in the face of external pressure to conform.

So laugh your ass off today as you step free from what the critics and doubters might think. Free yourself to be yourself.

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